What is Self-Care and Why Do Domestic Violence Survivors Need to Learn Self-Care Tools?

What is self-care?

Self-care, in all its forms, concerns the deliberate actions taken to maintain and improve their mental, emotional, and physical health. Now exactly what and how one undertakes self-care is pretty vague, so borrowing from the famed World Health Organization (WHO) we can define it as:

“The ability of individuals, families and communities to undertake action that promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness, disability or circumstance”(1).

This includes everything from basic necessities like eating well and getting enough sleep, to more personalised practices like meditation, exercise, and hobbies that bring happiness and relaxation. I guess, at its core, self-care is about recognizing your own particular needs and taking the steps required to meet them.

Self-care for domestic violence survivors

For domestic violence survivors, this process of meeting physical and spiritual needs and taking steps to find happiness is of particular importance—even if it may not seem so at face value. Domestic violence, in any form, can leave some pretty prominent emotional and psychological scars that undermine self-worth and contribute to stress and anxiety.

Now, understandably, survivors often prioritise their safety and immediate needs during a crisis, which is good, however in the long term this continuous crisis management often comes at the cost of health and happiness. But you probably don’t need me to tell you that such a reality can lead to chronic stress, negatively impacting both physical and mental health. Given these impacts, it is crucial for survivors to seek out self-care practices to break this cycle and promote long-term healing and overall well-being.

Why learning self-care is empowering for survivors

Learning self-care tools empowers survivors to rebuild their lives by prioritising their healing in manageable ways and the effects of such actions are supported by research. A study conducted by the University of Northern British Columbia found that domestic violence affected individuals who actively engaged in self-care practices experienced significant improvements in their overall well-being and quality of life. The study continued to highlight those survivors who engaged in self-care reported lower levels of anxiety and depression, increased feelings of empowerment and control, and enhanced resilience in facing daily challenges.

Activities such as meditation, regular physical exercise, and participation in support groups were particularly effective in promoting mental and emotional health. The activities examined presented in many forms, including formal routes like establishing boundaries, seeking therapy, connecting with support groups, and engaging in activities that restore their sense of self. It continued into more personalised methods, including personal activities and mindfulness practices like writing, painting, or playing music for emotional release as well as physical activities such as yoga, hiking, or daily walks to help reconnect the mind and body.

Create a self-care routine

Further, the research indicated that these positive outcomes were not only immediate but also sustained over time—survivors who maintained a consistent self-care routine showed continued progress all throughout recovery, demonstrating that self-care is a crucial component of long-term healing (2). So okay, you want to do it too—where do you start? Well, the best bet is to begin with small, manageable steps to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. A few ideas that are pretty easy to start:

1. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can be incredibly supportive. On our island in the south, you can reach out to 1800RESPECT, a 24-hour national sexual assault, family, and domestic violence counselling service (visit their website) or reach out to local support resources in your area including psychologists, psychiatrists or counsellors that may be able to point you in the right direction;

2. Engage in regular physical exercise, such as daily walks, yoga, or any activity you enjoy. Exercise is known to boost mood and overall well-being, and if you wanted to kill two birds with one stone, as it were, you could consider group fitness to help establish social connections and a network of supportive, like-minded individuals;

3. Set aside 10 minutes each day for mindfulness meditation, which can help reduce stress and improve mental clarity. You can follow guided meditations available in various apps (including HEADSPACE or CALM available on any smartphone) or something like this guide from the Black Dog Institute to get started to get started;

4. Focus on hobbies and creative endeavours and take time for hobbies that bring you joy, whether it's painting, playing music, writing, or any other creative pursuit. These activities can provide emotional relief and a sense of accomplishment.

Heal with these self-care steps

By starting with these steps, you can gradually build a self-care routine that supports your long-term healing and well-being. Literally just getting started can not only help with meeting or alleviating immediate emotional and psychological needs but can also lay the framework for sustainable mental health and resilience. Stick with it and over time these practices can help you build a more balanced and fulfilling life, empowering you to manage stress, enhance your mood, and foster a greater sense of self-compassion in the face of all you have experienced until now.

“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, not what is left of you” Katie Reed

References

1. World Health Organization Self-care for health and well-being

2. Jones-Bowen, L. (2021).Coping with violence against women in relationships Thesis