Apr 19, 20233 min read

Using Regulation Tools to sustain peace after DV

I’d had a really big day and was tired and agitated when we had the Broken to Brilliant lesson on tools for regulating our emotions.

Head tilts

I was shown an exercise of tilting my head to one side and looking up to the opposite side, holding for 10, then repeating on the other side. Then I tried another exercise where I looked straight up and held that position. I felt immediate comfort and relief.

This has been a good stretch for my neck. I have used it while in high-performance mode in serious meetings. I use it often and can do it anywhere without drawing attention. It gives me a quick break in my thoughts and immediate relief of any tension.

Breathing exercises

Another tool was to breathe while concentrating on inhaling and exhaling. This really calmed down any agitation that I had. I felt more centred and comfortably in control.

I use this quietly all the time while driving in traffic. It gives me better focus while driving, and also prepares me for daily challenges.

Naming the emotions

I was shown the Emotion and Feeling Wheel which is full of many descriptive feeling words that are colour coded into different areas.

I felt drawn to new words and colours. It gave me strength and hope to see the different words in the separate coloured sections and what they was relating too. This helped me narrow down exactly how I was feeling when I had been initially confused.

Printing the colour chart and putting it up on the wall has been good to have a quick point of reference. I use this to check what I’m feeling and what regulation tool I need to use so I can live each moment to the full.

Glimmers

My favourite part of the lesson was to learn about Glimmers. My interpretation of this was to be more aware of simple things of beauty, and things that I could find that brought me joy.

I now use my senses to look closer at nature, hear the birds, taste different new foods, touch the grass with my bare feet and smell my favourite flowers. I am now aware of the beauty and wonders that surround me and I’m grateful for that. This has inspired me to take photos to look at later and to share with others.

After DV I found that all things seemed quite dim. It’s so nice to now see vibrant colours and to look at the beauty around me. I reflect on the splendid creations of beautiful blessings in and around my life.

Tips for you

Position yourself and be open to trying different regulation tools.
Peace comes with every concentrated inhale and exhale of breath.
Print out the Emotion and Feeling Wheel to map how you’re feeling and learn new fab words to describe it.
Positive vibes flourish with each glimmer. Look for blessings wherever you go. Play with different senses to find glimmer everywhere, to have quick bursts of energy to powerfully thrive.

Blogging STARS program

This Blog is a part of the Broken to Brilliant Blogging STARS self-care program, which supports domestic violence survivors to practise the self-care strategies of Sleep, Tapping, Activity, Regulation and Support, (STARS). As they practise the strategies, they blog about it. You can read their survivor STARS Blogs: