Aug 1, 20222 min read

Self-care towards healing after Domestic Violence

When I learnt about self-care using the illustration of a fenced corral, I could only see a wide open space. The thought of fencing in my life initially was triggering of restrictions and being closed in.

As I started to work on my own self-care, I realised that I could see the corral as a place of safety to make my own decisions. I realised I would benefit from being more careful about who I allow in my corral. I would choose quality rather than quantity.

Engage

I found a free counsellor to have weekly phone calls through a local service.

I booked an appointment with my GP to get a full health check and followed through with the process of tests.

I went to a local park and walked around, absorbing the natural environment and looking for wildlife.

Tips:

· Keep on top of any health concerns.

· Look at the beauty around you and breathe.

· Exercise to the best of your abilities.

Enjoy

Instead of isolating myself, I caught up with a different friend each week.

My family went to the park for a picnic with other family and friends.

I went out to dinner and to a musical performance with friends to experience something new.

Tips:

· Call a friend and catch up.

· Get yourself around positive people.

· Enjoy your life, laugh, and try new experiences or outings.

Embrace

I bought a big calendar and started to make family appointments more organised.

I made times that were kept free, just for me.

I embraced days when my home was untidy, and I allowed myself to watch a movie on TV.

I kept all self-care ideas to a low cost, free, or I accepted when friends offered to pay.

Tips:

· Keep a reasonable schedule.

· Make time to do something you like or try something new.

· Allow yourself time to rest and refresh.

Encourage

I encouraged and helped others, which made me smile when I saw how much it blessed them.

I cooked a meal for my neighbour and made time to check in on family and friends, which gave me purpose

and filled me with joy.

I was offered an expensive appliance when mine broke, which I humbly and so gratefully accepted.

Tips:

· Encourage or compliment someone.

· Accept encouragement and know you are also deserving.

· Help or bless someone and be open to receiving the same.

· Make a positive difference wherever you go.

Blogging STARS program

This Blog is a part of the Broken to Brilliant Blogging STARS self-care program, which supports domestic violence survivors to practise the self-care strategies of Sleep, Tapping, Activity, Regulation and Support, (STARS). As they practise the strategies, they blog about it. You can read their survivor STARS Blogs: